Review Scores

As you (oh fictional, hypothetical, imaginary reader) might have noticed, I’ve been reviewing some books here. I thought it would be good to compile them, while there’s still few enough that that’s not a problem. I’m not going to list all my scores for all of them, however, as that would be too dull. Instead, I’m going to list the best so far for each category of score, and then list them all by overall ranking.

The idea behind the individual scores is to help people know what type of book something is, and to find books high on things that matter to them. I’ve got seven criteria – the excitement, the emotion, the thought-provoking-ness, the beauty, the sheer craft, the likelihood that I might curl up with the book for a comforting/enjoyable read, and the originality of the book. The individual scores will list all the 5/5 scores in red bold; where there isn’t yet a 5/5, I’ll put the highest scoring book in bold italics:

Adrenaline: Legend, Fatherland

Emotion: Legend, Shardik

Thought: A Canticle for Leibowitz

Beauty: A Canticle for Leibowitz, Shardik, Dhalgren

Craft: A Canticle for Leibowitz, Fatherland

Endearingness: Dark Heart (looks embarrassed)

Originality:. A Canticle for Leibowitz, Shardik, Dhalgren

The overall scores I’m listing by category, ordered internally by composite scores, which I don’t bother mentioning:

Brilliant: —

Very Good: A Canticle for Leibowitz

Good: Shardik, Dhalgren, Fatherland

Not That Bad, Really: Legend

Bad, But With Some Redeeming Features: Dark Heart

Really, Honestly, Completely Bad: —

So Bad It’s Physically Painful: —

Reaction: Dark Heart

The second question likely to be asked here, after “what’s that?” is probably “why are you bothering to review that?” – followed, perhaps, by “why do you even own that?” Certainly all legitimate questions…

Dark Heart is the third volume of a Dragonlance ‘series’ named “The Meetings Sextet”; the questioning quotation marks are there because this ‘series’ is really a group of novels by different authors united by little more than a marketing strategy. This particular author is Tina Daniell, and Dark Heart was her first novel. In the (nearly) twenty years since, she has published two other novels: Dragonlance: Meetings: Volume Six: The Companions (the culmination of the series, written a year later – if you haven’t read it, it’s terrible) and Dragonlance: Warriors: Volume Two: Marquesta Kar-Thon (written two years after that, one of a series about the heroic tales of extremely minor Dragonlance characters – I believe Marquesta sailed a ship in one chapter of Chronicles. I haven’t read this book, but I suspect that it’s terrible). So, it’s a minor book in a minor spin-off series in a D&D setting not known for literary quality even by the standards of D&D, and it’s the debut work by an author who has only written three novels in her life, all of which were for minor or less-than-minor Dragonlance series. It would be easy, and as it happens entirely correct, to assume that this is not a well-written book.

For those who don’t know, or would like to be reminded, the Dragonlance setting revolves around the Chronicles, telling the stories of a small group of adventurers who meet again after five years at the Inn of the Last Home in the idyllic town of Solace. In order to capitalise on the success of the novels, and exploit and advertise the Dragonlance D&D campaign setting, TSR went on to write series after series not only about the world but specifically about these characters. And, as we know what happened to them, the natural way to go was back. Prequels and Prequels II told the stories of that five year gap; Meetings goes further back, to tell the origin stories of the characters, and how they happened to meet. Dark Heart, the third of the series, deals with the origins of the fabled warrior-woman and hero/antihero/villain Kitiara Uth Matar – and although it contains no meetings per se, it also features the birth and childhoods of her half-brothers, Caramon and Raistlin Majere.

Well, that’s what it is – why do I own it, and why have I just read it? I own it because once, long ago, I was donated a huge box of TSR novels by a relative no longer interested in the series – this was one of the things that got me fully into fantasy. Dark Heart was one of those novels; and one year, browsing through a second-hand bookshop long after he had taken his books back out of nostalgia, I saw the book, remembered the name and that I liked it, and bought it. Ever since, it has sat ashamedly on my shelves among the other terrible fantasy novels I own (which have their own bookcase).

I decided to read it for, perhaps, three reasons. One, of course, was the uncharitable desire to mock and ridicule it – it’s always more fun to review things you hater. Another was curiosity – just how bad was it? The third was the more peculiar desire to ‘fill out’ the spectrum of reviews, to avoid everything being listed as ‘Good’ – I was fairly sure that this would require a new category of not-good.

In the event, however, I can’t make fun of it, because I liked it too much. I find this fact fascinating, because I’m not sure how much of this is virtue on the part of the book and how much is simply a pitiable wretchedness on my own part. You see, although the book is truly bad, it has a single redeeming feature: the character of Kitiara. I am, let’s be honest, a geek, and although I may be less secluded, shallow and pathetic than my earlier teenage-geek incarnation, I still can’t dislike anything with Kit in it. She’s a curly-haired, lithe brunette, intrepid, tomboyish, very good in a fight, pleasantly unromantic and practical, and extremely intelligent – she might not make my heart flutter any more, and I’m unlikely to swoon these days at the thought of her, but still… Kit was precisely designed for a particular market, and the design was successful in my case.

However! I honestly don’t think it’s just a teenage fixation reasserting itself here. Daniell has a genuine feel for the character of Kit (we may note that two of her three novels feature the feisty horseback adventurer woman, Kit, and the other features the feisty ship captain and adventurer woman, Marquesta Kar-Thon). Here, Kit is far more believable, and appealing, than the cartoonishly sensual and villainous Kitiara of the Chronicles. Instead, she’s a simple tomboy, desperate to escape the triple captivity of femininity, a terrible home life, and the boredom of a small town, who transfers her dreams onto the unobtainable character of Gregor Uth Matar, her father, who left her behind to adventure in the north, leaving only a wooden sword.

The plot of the novel is dull and mostly pointless. I’m going to spoil it for you, because if you read this book for the thrill of unexpected plot twists, you’re going to be disappointed either way.

Kit is the daughter of Gregor, a mercenary knight, and a local girl – but her mother’s argumentativeness, and continual sickliness, drive Gregor to leave town in the night, leaving Kit only a practice sword and a horse. One day a year or so later, at the age of eight, two things happen: she meets a flamboyant stranger, named Ursa, and her mother goes into labour. The result is two twins, Caramon and Raistlin. The younger brother is sickly from birth – Kitiara has to work flat-out to keep the baby breathing while the midwife cares for her mother. Both survive – but Raistlin is weak, and their mother is from then on both too weak to work and prone to madness and delusion, which become more and more constant. With her kindly-but-slow step-father out labouring all day to bring in money, Kitiara is left to look after her brothers, her mother, and the house. She becomes a competent cook and homemaker, but detests those abilities as symbolic of her entrapment; she is continually exhausted, but does her best to put on a good face for the twins. Both she and her step-father are relieved to finally get Raistlin enrolled at a magic school, and out of their hair – though Kit has great affection for the silent child whose life she saved, and who she gave a name to.

One day, about five or six years later, Kit (who only has one friend) discovers Ursa plotting with some friends at a fair in Solace, and conspires to work her way into their plan to steal a chest of gold being transported through the mountains some distance away. Along the way, Kit loses her virginity by having meaningless sex with a big black man, El-Navar who doesn’t say very much – and who, though she only finds out later, transforms into an animal, mostly at night. If you can, please stifle your laughter and/or accusations of racist symbolism here, I’m sure it’s unintentional. Well, mostly sure. Probably. And yes, he is the only black man in the book and no, there’s no explanation of what he’s doing there other than seducing pre-teen white girls with his heady bestial pheromones. But anyway… the plan goes awry, and a nobleman gets killed (ripped to shreds by Kit’s one-night-stand). They get the money, but they renege on the deal, leaving Kit with nothing. Kit is forced to work as a kitchen maid for bed and board, eventually managing to collect some coins due to her domestic competence. She works for a few months, making a new friend, who gets murdered. She returns home to the cage of Solace once more.

Some years later, she meets a dashing stranger in Solace, Patric, who falls in love with her, and proposes marriage. She is reluctant, but agrees to travel with him to his homeland. On the boat, she realises that Patric, indecisive and terrified of his mother, is not going to marry her at all – she’s only one of a string of women he has proposed to and then left. Angry, she plots revenge… but he is murdered mysteriously and she has to flee. She meets up with Ursa and some of the others from the gang years back, and although she’s angry she agrees to work with them again – until magical forces bring death and destruction. It’s revealed that all of this is due to the aftermath of the robbery/murder years before, and Kit and a companion journey back to confront the villain. For various reasons, everybody dies, and Kit wanders off.

Where should we start? The plot rarely makes sense, being far too reliant on coincidental meetings, and at the end dips into farcical melodrama. It has no real end point – it fails to show how Kit ends up how we know she ends up, and only shows a couple of her early adventures – but since she goes on to have lots more before she reappears in other stories, there’s no strong reason for the novel to stop where it does. The big problem the climax solves is only introduced more than halfway through the novel, making it all seem a bit trivial, and the characters of the twins, important at first, are abandoned for long stretches, making the book seem unbalanced. Minor characters are killed off heartlessly and for no apparent reason – perhaps it makes Kit more isolated, but she never really seems to feel the losses, and it seems more as though the constant death is just a way to tie up loose ends. El-Navar is left alive, so that Kit can symbolically choose not to follow him (hence both asserting her independence and putting an end to her adolescent half-romantic daydreams), but he’s been a permanent panther for some time by then, so that Kit never has to talk to him or deal with any consequences of their dalliance. Indeed, the lack of consequences is a recurring factor – although her part in the nobleman’s death eventually catches up with her, no consequences of anything ever return to Solace, which is kept isolated from the world as a perfectly safe haven. For instance, Kit leaves Solace sort-of-engaged, and her notable husband gets murdered on board ship, and she jumps overboard rather than face ‘justice’ – but when she gets back to Solace some time later, there’s never any sign that people have heard about this, or even any questions as to what’s happened (even though her family have presumably been writing to their supposed in-laws at the address she gave the entire time…)

The setting is confused and incredibly shallow. It seems an amalgam of sources – medieval Europe, fairy tales, and American High Schools. This last was emphasised by the sometimes American vocabulary – the children have ‘candy’ and sit on ‘bleachers’, among other things. The scenes with the school bullies (why is there even a school?) are laughably bad, and the mage school is as badly handled as the ridiculous concept deserves. The children, other than Kit, are portrayed without the slightest finesse, seemingly meandering in maturity between the ages of 3 and 30 without regard for realism – particularly in the case of Raistlin, who is clearly a super-genius at the age of six. The continual childishness of both brothers is in sharp contrast to the maturity of Kit – Kit is more adult at six than they are at sixteen, it seems (although a final letter from the boys to Kit after the death of their father is touching in how it shows their sudden transition to adulthood). Half the time, the setting seems to try for gritty realism; the half, it flies into the most purple and regurgitated fantasies.

The prose, likewise, cannot decide whether to imbue itself with high medieval archaisms or else imitate the schoolyard slang on nineties America – or anywhere between. It veers erratically in tone without any apparent correlation with content. Many sentences, particularly when an archaic voice has been reached for, are confusing, inapt, or extremely inelegant, and the modernities are jarring. Above the level of the sentence, moments depicting any sort of action are frequently over-vague in their description or misleading, with characters teleporting from place to place, important actions overlooked and minor ones depicted in detail. These are strung into scenes that condense content almost to a summary while expanding nothingness into pages of skippable irrelevance – in particular, there are many travelling scenes that tell us nothing notable of either the characters or the environment they are in. Dialogue is abysmal, neither elegant nor depictive of character. Indeed, nothing is depictive of character. Aside from Kit, only two characters (Patric and Colo) evoked any degree of sympathy – the first for his originality, the second because, as I’ve said, I’m fairly shallow and geeky, and, well, she IS a feisty tomboyish adventurer. In the whole book, only Kit feels truly real.

She, however, is handled well. Daniell would have been far better off scrapping the fantasy and the adventure and keeping Kit in the kitchen. Her pride in, and self-revulsion for, her ability to manage the house and kitchen is delicately sketched; her respect for, yet rivalry with and non-acceptance of, her step-father; her love of, pride in, and protective instincts toward her step-brothers, alongside her intense jealousy of them for taking all of their mother’s attention, and her hatred of them for their birth destroying her life; her agonising love/hate of her mother, in which a little child’s continually-defeated hope that her mother will get better is dashed against a teenager’s resentment of the weak, pathetic woman whose inability to look after herself is the cause of her lost childhood; her desire for attention, and her desire to go unnoticed; her pride in her ability to accept responsibility, and the desperate lust to be irresponsible; her simple, innocent, flickerings of romance and her dispassionate coupling (the one part of her character that could have done with more emphasis – we get no real glimpse of any physical lust on her part, though in other books we see her being promiscuous); her constant desire to be loved, and her desire to be adult and independent and self-sufficient, which provokes respect but pushes away any hope of love (both her mother and her step-father are said to be unsure how to treat he because she becomes adult so quickly); her idolisation of, and resentment toward, her absent father; her gradual construction of an increasingly hard, emotionless shell that keeps her from pain… Daniell takes the well-worn trope of the warrior-woman and makes it painfully believable, painfully sympathetic, painfully normal and understandable. Many authors would have made such a character by putting some great violence or abuse in her childhood, but at core Daniell does it through constructing an everyday tragedy of well-meaning neglect, the result of economics and of medical limitations rather than villainy or apocalypse. The rest – all that adventuring stuff – seems tacked around the edges and is far less well handled: the real character development comes at home.

My only complaint concerning Kitiara is that it’s too little of her story – it doesn’t turn her into who she’s meant to end up as. She’s hurt, she’s cold, she’s pragmatic, she’s alienated… but she is not actually evil. On the contrary, she’s positively noble at times. The book works better as a character study than it does as an explanation of the origin of Kitiara – and it does an even worse job for the brothers, who eventually got their own books devoted to their childhood. In my opinion, they and all the other characters (if they can even be called ‘characters’) should have had far less screentime, with the focus entirely on Kit. The adventure could mostly have been done away with as irrelevant – certainly the cliché conclusion. By contrast, the whole Patric sub-plot required a lot more attention – not only was Patric the only other character that showed flickers of originality or depth, but he briefly brought out an entirely different side of Kit. Likewise, her one-night-stand with El-Navar needed more. Perhaps the powers that be (mysteriously) decided that the sexual/romantic/identity confusions and explorations of a teenage girl weren’t good material for their audience of teenage boys – or perhaps Daniell just didn’t feel comfortable addressing them. Either way, it’s a shame, as it would have enhanced her character – and because the glimmers we do see, while slender, have a note of authenticity about them. [Tangent: I have a great weakness for romantic stories – from which I am saved by the horrifically low standards of craft and originality in romance stories, and by the appallingly boring and/or irritating characters who inhabit them. I know of only two good romantic comedy films: Four Weddings, and Being John Malkovich (and I admit to having had a weak moment when watching Sleepless in Seattle as a child). A romance novel about Kit… would be in danger of making me uncomfortably swoony and fanboyish. If any such or similar novel is out there, don’t tell me about it, as it would have a strongly deleterious effect on my self-respect]

So, I liked this book. Partly because Daniell handles the character of Kit with considerable confidence and instinct, and partly because Kit is simply an archetype with which I have unfinished business, so to speak [the heroine of the novel I’m currently writing, for instance, has a great deal of Kit in her, I think, though the setting is entirely different, and it’s buried in her].

On the other hand, let’s be honest – the actual craft in the book is at an extremely low level, and whether from disinterest or from ineptitude, anything outside Kit’s interactions with her domestic environment is poorly handled.

So… numbers!

Adrenaline: 2/5. For an adventure novel, it’s pretty slow and dull. I skimmed some sections in the interests of my will to live. On the other hand, I did skim through to the resolutiony-bits, which shows I was at least slightly hooked – the travel scenes are just too slow for where they are in the book. And actually, I read it a lot quicker than I thought I would, and when I stopped overnight just before the end, I finished it first thing in the morning. But still… no actual heartbeat-rising moments.

Emotion: 3/5. There’s only one character in it capable of provoking emotion, and there were no greatly emotional moments. On the other hand, I personally found it quite affecting, watching the quiet desperation Kit feels trapped in her domestic cage.

Thought: 2/5. The only vaguely interesting thing was that Kit isn’t entirely clichéd as a character in this depiction, and the part-focus on family life is refreshing in a family novel, even if the book didn’t have the courage to focus on it more fully.

Beauty: 1/5. Well, Kit’s a beautiful character, and the delicate agony of her situation is beautiful in its way, so… oh, I give up, it’s a 1. There’s not an elegant sentence in the book, there’s not an interesting simile or involving image. The beauty of the character and situation is something you have to draw out yourself, as the book doesn’t have the skill to just show you it.

Craft: 1/5. It could have been worse, in that some passages with Kit at home were unobjectionable. This, however, only made the unevenness of the book more apparent, as you’re unable to settle into a steady expectation of awfulness. Instead, I forgot how bad it was at points, only to be rudely reminded.

Endearingness: 4/5. *stands with arms crossed, defiantly* If it weren’t objectionably awful, this would be a wonderful curl-up read, damn it.

Originality: 2/5. Not much to say here. If you read Dragonlance books, this won’t be on the list of most clichéd and predictable – although the adventure subplots would be. It might possibly be surprising to somebody who’s never read an epic fantasy novel. Almost avoids trying to be epic!

Overall: 3/7: Bad, but with redeeming features. Well, one redeeming feature, really.

Reaction: Shardik

“How else but through a broken heart may the Lord Christ enter in?”
– Oscar Wilde, “The Ballad of Reading Gaol”

He who builds a barn knows that rats will come

[They] were free to go where they might… Free as flies, free as autumn leaves or as wind-borne ashes.

Richard Adams has written nearly twenty novels or short story collections; one of them, Watership Down, is the best-selling novel ever published by Penguin, and has been voted one of the fifty favourite books of the British public, as well as spawning endless adaptations, including a classic film that has received numerous accolades – one of the fifty greatest British films, one of the hundred greatest animations, one of the twenty greatest tearjerkers, and a Hugo Award, among others. The novel is one of the classics of fantasy – and when it was written it joined The Lord of the Rings and Jonathan Livingston Seagull as the only fantasy novels to make it to the mainstream bestseller lists, as the #2 best-selling fiction book of 1974.

Watership Down, however, was not the apex of the author’s career – indeed, it was only the first of those twenty-odd novels. Of the rest of them, little, if anything, is ever heard. An author arose out of nowhere, became an incredible publishing success, and since then has spent another thirty years writing his novels in almost complete obscurity.

If any other novel of his had an opportunity to gain its own fame, it was his second novel, Shardik, which surely must have gained some attention in its day – and yet, beyond a cameo in Stephen King’s Dark Tower series, it seems to have faded entirely from public consciousness, even among fantasy devotees. It was thus with some sense of mystery that as a child I opened the two-decade-old and dusty tome, with its faded cover, found in a box of books and bric-a-brac gifted us by an old and eccentric family friend who seemed perpetually to use us as an escape valve for her unrelenting acquisition of useless and obscure items. One day, “would you like these ski boots? I’m not sure what I’m going to do with them.” (Well no, as you’ve never been skiing – why did you buy them?). Another – “would these be any use to you?” – three hundred of those little plastic clips for closing bags and a thousand post-it notes? Why, it’s what we’ve always wanted. And, one day, an old plastic suitcase stuffed with books on obscure diets, and Greek myths, and never-heard-of poets in English, French and German – and Shardik.

When I opened it, the smell of the paper grabbed me by the nostrils, and brought me into an entirely different sort of world from any I had known.  At the time, I read Pratchett, and Eddings, and Feist, and Dragonlance, and Gemmell – Shardik isn’t really like any of those, at all. It quickly became one of my two favourite books, although, attempt after attempt, I failed to finish the book, dissuaded by confusion, depression, and on occasion sheer moralistic hatred of the characters. In the end, I had the marvellous idea of beginning in the middle, and finally I made it to the end. Yet none of that struggle made me dislike the book, or disparage it – on the contrary, it gave the book a sort of mystic power in my mind. It was, and still is, the only fiction book ever to have defeated me (barring books where I have read the first chapter or two but not really got into it – for me, if I once get into a book, I get through it all).

Shardik is not Watership Down, either. It isn’t set in England, or even Europe – instead, it’s set in a minor, tropical nation of savannah and jungle, long ago lost to history. Its main protagonist is not an animal, but an illiterate peasant. It has an animal in it, yes, but it does not think like a human, but rather goes about like an animal, killing and destroying. Its characters are not heroes and villains, but universally flawed, yet almost always well-intentioned, humans. It does not tell an adventure story, but a story of religion, conquest, and slavery. It’s easy to imagine the readers of Watership Down being somewhat confused.

Shardik tells the story of a simple hunter, Kelderek, who one day encounters in the forests of his island a gigantic bear, driven from its home by a forest fire, which, he comes to believe, is an incarnation of Shardik, the ursine avatar of the Power of God. Once upon a time, his people mutter, they ruled over a vast empire, the empire of Bekla to the south, and dwelled in comfort and refinement, until Shardik was lost to them, and they were exiled to a small and muddy island, where they are ruled now by the paranoid and deformed High Baron, Bel-ka-Trazet, while revering still the shattered remnants of Shardik’s priesthood, led by the nameless priestess, the Tuginda, on the mystical neighbouring island of Quiso, performing still the same tasks and rituals even though they have no longer any focus. In this environment, faith and politics, and fear and ambition, devotion of many kinds, and the savagery of nature clash unstoppably to change the course of the lives of all the characters, and turn their eyes to the long-awaited, long-foretold return in glory to Bekla – an empire itself feeling the scars of a bloody civil war fought on the issue of slavery.

Above all, Shardik is a novel about religion – or, more accurately, faith, as the apparatus and ritual of religion is only tangentially touched upon. Instead, the focus is on the faith (or non-faith) of Kelderek, Bel-ka-Trazet, the Tuginda, Ta-Kominion (a young nobleman), and Rantzey and Melathys (two subordinate priestesses) – how it interacts with emotion and pragmatism, and how it addresses, and interprets, both bounty and hardship.

And here I have my first problem with the novel. The subject matter is worthwhile and appreciated – faith, I think, is a subject that fantasy is uniquely well-placed to address – and there is no doubt that it is handled extremely well, but it is also handled narrowly. There is very little in the way of respectable dissent from the Approved View the book hands down – Kelderek struggles against it, and argues well both for and against it in his own mind and with others, but there is no doubt about how the reader is meant to conclude. The problem is particularly severe as a result of the absence of the two most charismatic dissenters, Bel-ka-Trazet and Ta-Kominion, from the majority of, and the key parts of, the book. It is worthwhile, I think, comparing this novel to A Canticle for Leibowitz, another explicitly religious fantasy – in Leibowitz, it is far less clear what the Approved View is, and there is far stronger dissent from in within the book.

This may not have been so much of a problem for me, where I not to disapprove of the Approved View. Ill-mannered as it may be to introduce personal beliefs into the matter, nonetheless it is impossible to read a book, particularly so opinionated a book as this, in isolation from our pre-existing views. Now, those of you who have been paying attention will know that I have no religion, and no faith, and no believe in God – but both by upbringing and by inclination, the specific believe that I do not have is generally Catholic in form. Consequently, Leibowitz struck a chord within me – though I disagreed with much of it, it was something familiar, recognisable, respectable to me. But Shardik is not a Catholic book – Shardik is Protestant in the most arrational, and often agonisingly passive, way. Again and again we are told, in essence, that salvation is through faith alone and not through deeds; again and again, we are told how wrong it is to seek to deduce God’s will or plan how best to serve him – God’s will, is to be shown, not found: the question “then what are we to do?” is answered by “Kelderek, how many more times? It will be shown us, shown us, shown us what we are to do!” We must, we are told, simply wait. Well, I don’t believe that – and I also don’t believe that a doctrine of waiting quietly and of relying on God aids greatly in writing an exciting tale. Personally, I would have greatly preferred even a hint of theological nuance at this point – and it could easily be given. By the end of the book, there are in essence three significant religions – the established hierarchy of Quiso, Kelderek and new interpretations of the religion of Shardik, and the religion of U-Deparioth, held by another major character, the urbane Ellaroth – yet there is singularly little theological conflict. Neither Kelderek nor any other non-Quiso religious figure has a coherent theology to oppose that of the Tuginda, and the religion of U-Deparioth is not only virtually absent from most of the novel but also, when seen, is presented as more-or-less interchangeable with the religion of Shardik. The sequel, I am told, makes mention of a great many more religions in Bekla, but these do not feature at all. This, I feel, is a serious flaw in the novel, and not only because it allows the Tuginda to reign unchallenged in the theological sphere. It also damages both the theme and the plot of the novel: the theme, because on the one hand we are told of the enormous significance of religion in life, while all throughout the Empire religion is neither salient nor distinct; the plot, because a key symbolic episode, the Streels of Urtah, gains much of its power from the mythology of Deparioth, which is distant and unaffective. While it is clearly intentional to keep the reader in the dark about the details of the significance of the Streels, the eventual revelation would have considerably more power if the mythology had been more familiar to us at this point; additionally, the sudden religiosity of the Sarkids when the Streels feature would be more believable if it were not the first mention of their religion that we saw.

The resulting religious picture is therefore disappointingly bland. Why could not we have been given a serious, fleshed-out, henotheism or polytheism in Bekla? As it is, the most appealing religious dissent is the atheism, or at least extreme pragmatism, of Bel-ka-Trazet, who is portrayed in a surprisingly sympathetic, even positive, manner, but who is sadly absent from the key sections of the novel. Indeed, I’m tempted to say that not only this novel, but all other novels, would benefit from having a good deal more Bel-ka-Trazet in them. Perhaps there is some sort of Boba Fett issue here, but to me he seemed the most charismatic character in the book.

The main religion, meanwhile, failed even to be convincing in its own right – not because of any shallowness on the part of the variety of religious experiences and attitudes displayed, but because the religion seem very much to be Protestant Christianity in a bear skin. This is most obviously seen in the fact that their supreme deity is called simply God, and Shardik is the ‘Power of God’ that has been incarnated to save and guide mankind, through its own sacrifice. And of course all the other religions also worship God, they just don’t worship Shardik or believe he has been sent by God. This is not animism, or shamanism, as we might imagine on hearing of ‘bear worship’ – this is a simple Abrahamic faith, albeit without codified scripture (and the concept of revelation is indeed central). This is not necessarily a problem – it seems natural that an Englishmen of the time would be most interested in Abrahamic religions, but it raises an important question: why has Adams disguised this as something other than it is? Why isn’t it written in a more explicit way – why no prophets, no messiahs, no scripture? Perhaps he sought simplicity – but religion is the core of the book, so ought to be least skimped on. Perhaps he was afraid of blasphemy, or accusations of it. Or perhaps it is accidental – maybe he lacked the knowledge or imagination to make a more truly un-Christian faith. Personally, I hope it is the latter reason – because there is no reason why this faith had to be Abrahamic at all. Indeed, with the focus on faith and interpretation, a less explicit religion, a more genuine animal-worship, would have thrown the fascinating duality of religious thought processes into starker and more penetrating light.

These omissions, however, are likely not made on religious grounds, but rather reflect a general deficiency in worldbuilding. The geography is often confused, both in physics (the vegetative zones, for instance, seem allocated by throwing darts at a map, from all I can see) and in description (I’m still not clear whether Sarkid is a city or a region, for instance, and whether it is adjacent to, or within, Lapan, nor where exactly Deelguy is, nor of the western border of the empire – and all this despite a map!). Culture and economics are vividly described, but seem hollow, and sometimes unbelievable – why, for instance, does Transvrako remain so underpopulated? Given that it is underpopulated, how can it remain in such abject poverty and lawlessness? As the greatest threat appears to be groups of no more than a handful of men, why are people unable to defend their villages, and why, as so much of the area is wild and empty, can people not simply scratch out a living in the wild places without fear of harassment? Let’s not even address the economics of the ending… and as I have said there is virtually no information about the practice of religion, while the magic that appears on Quiso in the early chapters is barely mentioned again.

Why does the worldbuilding matter? Imagine taking a long trip by car to a destination, following the instructions given by a friend. Even if you follow the instructions to the letter, doesn’t a small part of you like having the reassurance that if you wanted to you could take a sudden turn and trundle down the B-roads to cut across country? A poorly-constructed world is when you feel that if you were for even a moment to diverge from the allotted route, you would find that the roads all ended once you were out of sight of the motorway. Or again: we live in our books, if only for a little while, and in a book with thin worldbuilding we are constantly confronted with indescribable, individually insignificant but cumulatively disturbing, suggestions that we are living in the Truman Show. A fine enough effect where disturbance is what the author desires – but otherwise it’s a distracting inadequacy.

In society, likewise, all people are divisible into three categories – a handful of sensible people, a great many urbane, suave aristocrats, and an endless sea of vaguely-cockney working men. If it were a play, most of these characters would simply be replaced by a single faceless man who changes hats, like the servant in A Man for All Seasons.

This point itself raises two new issues. Firstly, the issue of dialect. People are often enjoined to write as people speak, not as philosophers write, and indeed there is great merit in this – but Shardik is a fine example of why it is not always a good idea. It was written in the seventies, but by a man then in his fifties, and sounds distinctly pre-war in its dialogue, with the lower-class characters speaking in the sort of My Fair Lady way that may have represented speech at the time but now seems painfully out of date and not a little patronising. Meanwhile, the aristocrats, and in particular Ellaroth, not only speak but act in the sort of unemotional, flippant, interchangeable stiff-upper-lip fashion that seems scarcely credible now – and Ellaroth suffers as a result, as the painfully-sketched contrast between mask and raw emotion beneath becomes less credible and understandable when the mask is so alien to us, and so clearly affected. Finally, the Deelguy we meet speak in a swap-the-vowels accent that is frankly too bizarre to be believed, and which is rather alienating.

The second and more interesting issue took a long time to occur to me, but now seems to explain a great deal. Shardik should not be understood as modern writing, nor as Victorian writing – it is Shakespearean. It is, in essence, a very long play in novel form. The key dialogue is theatrical, not realistic – full of high sentence, strangely well-considered and precise. Internal thoughts, likewise, are not rambling and disunified, but presented, more or less, as the sort of philosophical soliloquys we expect on the stage. Even the descriptions read as stage directions in their terser moments, and as Othellian anecdotes at their more expansive.

This should not be seen as a criticism. If we judge the writing of Shardik by how close it is to reality, we would judge it poorly – but we do not have to. Consider instead that these soliloquys are not a portrayal of actual psychology, but of a condensed, pureed thought process – how the character would say he thought if he had the time, and literacy, to find the ideal formulation. Once we leap across the barrier of this alien, and somewhat ponderous, style, we find much to admire. The prose is, at times, beautiful, and rarely if ever is it ugly or jarring. It adheres fanatically to the dictum to show and not tell – only, rather than the dichotomy of ‘showing’ as action and ‘telling’ as authorial description, its distinction is between ‘telling’ as literal description and ‘showing’ as imagery, allegory and metaphor. Where other authors use one verb to express an emotion, Adams uses a sentence. Where others use a sentence, Adams uses a paragraph. These similes are usually vivid, and are sometimes imaginative to the point of being bizarre. The most notable example I can recall occurs when Shardik is ill, and Kelderek is observing him. Rather than saying simply “Kelderek was horrified by the poor condition of the bear”, Adams tells us:

“After war has swept across some farm or estate and gone its way, the time comes when villagers or neighbours, their fears aroused by having seen nothing of the occupants, set out for the place. They make their way across the blackened fields or up the lane, looking about them in the unnatural quiet. Soon, seeing no smoke and receiving no reply to their calls, they begin to fear the worst, pointing in silence as they come to the barns with their exposed and thatchless rafters. They begin to search; and at a sudden cry from one of their number come running together before an open, creaking door, where a woman’s body lies sprawling face down across the threshold. There is a quick scurry of rats and a youth turns swiftly aside, white and sick. Some of the men, setting their teeth, go inside and return, carrying the dead bodies of two children and leading a third child who stares about him, crazed beyond weeping. As that farm then appears to those men, who knew it in former days, so Shardik appeared now to Kelderek: and as they look upon the ruin and misery about them, so Kelderek looked at Shardik drinking from the pool.”

A page later, a paragraph is devoted to the disillusionment that accompanies the sight of suffering: “To see strength failing, ferocity grown helpless, power and domination withered by pain as plants by drought – such sights give rise not only to pity but also – and as naturally – to aversion and contempt.” This theme is then illustrated through the image of a dying captain huddled by a fire in the cold, whom we must abandon to his fate before we too succumb to the conditions – we discard our past with him, and decide that it is right that he should be abandoned; and then, suddenly we see him differently: “How odd it is that until now no one, apparently, should have perceived that after all he was never particularly wise; never particularly brave; never particularly honest, particularly truthful, particularly clean.” Psychology in Shardik is displayed not literally but symbolically, in the juxtaposition of and transition between different images and analogies. It is strange to read, and can be alienating, but it can also be beautiful at times, and at times can cut to the heart of a feeling better than literal description could. It is also extremely appropriate to the themes of the novel, in which interpretation and myth are more important than the cold facts themselves.

It may seem slow and plodding, but this is more to do with the plot than the writing – in the passages where real tension and excitement are called for, the archaic style rallies around superbly, and passages such as the battle of the foothills and the end of the Genshed section are dealt with as excitingly as any more sensationalist modern author would be capable of. Adams can write excitingly, and doesn’t even have to change his style to do so – he just chooses, by and large, not to.

That is because the focus of the book is psychology – not, as I say, a mimetic stream-of-consciousness, but a philosophical, ruminative psychology of motivation and theology and self-justification. And here too the style may be unfamiliar, but the effects are powerful – although a large stretch of the third quarter of the book is, through a combination of uneventfulness and mental wrangling, a little slow and difficult for readers expecting more continuous action.

The difficulty I have with the psychology is not the style or the content, but the distribution – certain characters are explored, while others go almost unheeded. Most glaring of these omissions is Ellaroth himself – not only a key character in the plot but also the focus of several chapters. Never, however, do we really see under his mask, except what other viewers can see when he loses control in moments of extreme emotion. This could be effective, except that we see far too little even of the emotionally-masked Ellaroth – in the only chapters where he has considerable screen time, we see him through the dull and somewhat slow eyes of his friend, Mollo, and we are too busy digesting the exposition at this point to concentrate on nuance of character, even should there be any. The result is that by and large, with the exception of one speech (most of which is not translated for us), Ellaroth appears almost entirely free of emotion, motivation or background – dangerously close, at several points, to a deus ex machina. This problem is exacerbated by (or perhaps creates) Ellaroth’s alienation from the main, religious themes of the book – alone of the major characters, Ellaroth could not care less about Shardik either way. While this could present a valuable dash of perspective to the tale (as Siristrou does at the end of the book), the fact that we don’t see much of Ellaroth’s own religion, or anything else that he cares about, it instead makes the character seem somewhat superfluous and artificial. This, however, is in strong contrast to the structure of the book, which presents Ellaroth as one of the most central figures. In particular, his importance at the end of the novel is disappointing – particularly when compared to the near-vanishing of Radu, by then a far more interesting character, and one who could have served much of the narrative function of Ellaroth in the final section.

This should highlight the fact that Shardik is only Adams’ first novel, and its events and themes are on an altogether grander scale than his first – consequently, he does make mistakes in pacing, plot and structure. The opening section needs more Melathys and Bel-ka-Trazet; ideally, more Ta-Kominion as well. Either the first or second section needs more Ged-la-Dan, and ideally more Zelda. As it is, important characters go without definition, or only receive sufficient focus when it is too late. The penultimate section is extremely powerful, but the final section is essentially an epilogue, and far too long and uneventful – which would be more forgivable if it did not then eventually surrender to the necessity of an epilogue-within-an-epilogue (though as a chapter, the final epilogue is both well-written and a brilliant concept to frame the events of the novel). Moreover, though pains are taken to see the effects of past actions, too much of the final section is spent watching characters (most notably Ellaroth) who are relatively unscathed, while Radu, who has been set up as a major focus of the preceding section, is forgotten (along with a few others I wanted to see more of – a certain boy who paces on the shoreline with a stick swearing, for instance).

By far the biggest problem, however, is the lacuna between Book II and Book III. It is easy to see why this temporal void was allowed – the significant events of the gap would have been spread out over years, making them difficult to relate coherently, while most of the characters, both new and old, would have been doing very little. Nonetheless, I believe that finding a way of filling this gap could have greatly improved the novel, for several reasons:

–         It would have given us time to know get to know Ellaroth, making the third book far more emotive. He’s not a character, as I’ve said above, who we can love on first sight.

–         It would have allowed us to see the reaction to the death of a certain character in the preceding book – as it is, they seem to fade from the story too easily, not casting that shadow that in reality they would have cast.

–         It would have allowed us to see Zelda and, in particular, Ged-la-Dan in the hour of their darkest deeds. Zelda is shown as somewhat sympathetic both before and after, and although we see the darker point in hindsight, this does not have the same power as watching him live through them. Indeed, I would suggest that Ellaroth and Zelda should have shared this section. Ged-la-Dan is an important shadow-antagonist throughout the novel who never gets enough screentime. Showing more clearly the complicated relationship between Ged-la-Dan and Crendrik would have put the latter’s decisions in a more nuanced background. As it is, I feel it is too easy to hate Crendrik, as indeed I did on first reading.

–         It would have shown us Kelderek’s Third Big Decision, and possibly the biggest of the three. The decision he makes, while sensible and rationalised in hindsight, is probably the most important event in the novel, and the impetus to the whole of the second half, yet inexplicably we never see it. Accordingly, we’re not fully engaged as he deliberates whether or not he was right, which takes away much of the power of the novel.

–         It would balance the overall structure of the novel, which leans to heavily toward the second half

This lack of balance is made worse by the uneven narrative technique of exploring different points of view. In my reaction to Legend, I denigrated Gemmell’s use of mini-POVs of various minor characters, which lacked sufficient depth and relevance; Adams shows how this ought to be done. Rather than a paragraph or two, Adams devotes pages, or even chapters, to different perspectives, and this shows us the events in question in an altogether different light. I only wish he had done it more. Unfortunately, only the early sections show this variety, with the book increasingly focusing on Kelderek solely. The book suffers as a result – partly because it accentuates the degree to which the book is unbalanced, and partly because overexposure makes Kelderek’s dilemmas less affective. It’s also unnecessary. While much of the middle section is doomed to be Kelderek-dominated, there is no reason why the latter sections could not have featured the perspectives of Ellaroth (or someone close to him), Radu, the Tuginda, or a certain woman. Indeed, best of all would have been the perspective of Lalloc, or even Genshed – although I can understand why Adams may have felt unable to do this (and thankfully, in the case of Lalloc, as the ridiculous accent-writing would have become unbearable).

This, however, touches on a further problem: it is clear the ending matters more to Adams than to me. I feel a little guilty about this, as it’s the sort of moral issue we can’t respectably ignore – and indeed it is affective (a certain moment with Genshed in the deserted village may well compete for ‘most gut-wrenchingly horrible paragraph’ among the novels I’ve read). It just get a feeling that it’s not as affective for me as it’s meant to be, and that’s alienating for me. I’ve never read Adams’ autobiography, but I hear it has dark moments in it – and he explicitly says in an introductory note that some of the child-torture is written from his own experience. This certainly makes it even darker (Adams, like Ellaroth, has a stiff-upper lip mentality that can neuter some of the darker moments, downgrading them from horrific to merely disturbingly callous, and a glimpse behind the mask can help bring back that colour), but it also makes me aware of a gulf between author and reader – as someone without those experiences, can I ever really understand what the novel is meant to mean? I find myself, rather off-puttingly, wishing that certain scenes had been more brutal, more explicit, more disgusting – not because that would have been enjoyable, but because I think I may need to hear a shout to hear what Adams can hear in a whisper; and yet I doubt Adams could have made himself write any more darkly, even had he so wished. Indeed, the reason he added that autobiographical hint at the beginning was to seek to avoid accusations from readers that he had the sort of mind that could have invented such things.

Nor need those concerns be unfounded: we must remember that this novel was written in the 1970s, when child abuse, sexual slavery and the other issues raised were not perhaps as openly discussed as today, and certainly not as openly the topic of popular entertainment. And perhaps that is a good thing in this case: not only in relation to Genshed, but also regarding the stories we hear from some women near the end of the novel (and indeed some of the war scenes and their consequences earlier on), Shardik is a novel that touches on the worst things a novel can deal with, and a less inhibited writer could have let it plunge to, frankly, limitless depths of pain and suffering quite easily. On the one hand, I would love to see what a writer of such quality could have done off the leash, and what an incredible book Shardik might have been – but on the other hand, I know that it’s not exactly comfortable reading at the moment, and there is a point where ‘artistically valuable’ is less salient than ‘too harrowing to read’.

I have, then, discussed many flaws in the book. I tend to do that – I assume perfection, and try to detail why it was not always attained. Nonetheless, if other people are to gain anything from this, perhaps I should say some words on why the book is actually worth reading. What’s it got?

–         It’s dark. As I say, this isn’t portrayed in a sensationalist style – indeed, the very contrary. Nonetheless, rape and murder and mutilation are constant features, and are just as likely to happen to children as to adults. This is not some run-of-the-mill fluffy-dragon fantasy that tosses around war and slavery without any attention to what the words really mean. Bekla may not be a completely convincing world in terms of geography and sociology, but it is impressively real in terms of psychology and human suffering. The style is archaic, but the contents are decidedly modern.

–         It deals in Real Human Themes that may be raised in a fantasy world, but that have application in real life – faith, courage, belief, reason, pragmatism, which ends justify which means, honour, power, the nature and effect of cruelty… it may occasionally seem to have made up its mind on some of these (particularly religion), but it’s never hectoring in tone, and usually at least tries to be nuanced, and show different points of view.

–         The writing style, both in prose and in descriptive technique, are highly distinctive, and effective, if you can get used to them.

–         It’s original in execution. The fact that Watership Down is more approachable suggests that much of the theatrical prose style is an experimental affectation, and throughout the book there are further experiments – from the first chapter (through the perspective of a non-sentient animal with no thinking creature appearing at all) through to the last (a brilliant conceit that, unlike most epilogues, manages to put the entire novel that has come before into a new light).

Overall, I think the best way to sum up the novel is to say that it’s somewhat odd literary fantasy, which might not satisfy those seeking the very best the genre has to offer, but should absolutely be considered by anyone who genuinely desires to read a fantasy novel that is nothing like conventional fantasy – and of course anybody interested in religion in fantasy. And anybody who loved Watership Down but didn’t know he wrote anything else – if nothing else, they’ll come away with a greater appreciation of the breadth of the man’s skill.

As for myself… no, Shardik wasn’t as good as I remember it being, but it will always have a place in my affections, and I’ve no doubt I’ll reread it again in the future [and the phrase “all the way, underground” will probably feature prominently in future nightmares, along with the myth of Leg-by-Lee]. As for Adams’ third novel, Maia, I admit to mixed anticipations – on the one hand, the thought of a novel focusing less on the elevated part of Shardik and more on the darker parts is appealing; on the other hand, the time period is uninteresting to me, perhaps because I feel it would be too familiar. Also, I didn’t exactly find Shardik gripping, even if it was ultimately fairly satisfying. I think that I’ll keep an eye out for Maia in second-hand bookshops, but not actually go out and buy it online. There’s so many other books I’ve to read first…

So, finally, to tidy things up (and apologies for the long length of the review, by the way – I guess the book just struck some chords with me), some numbers:

Adrenaline: 3/5. It’s slow and pensive, not exciting, and could easily have been a 2 – it even touches 1 at times. However, when the story calls for it, Adams can whip up the adrenaline, and there’s a couple of really good chapters in this respect, so I’m bumping it up to a 3.

Emotion: 4/5. Yes, part of the emotion provoked is anger, and part disgust, as well as the occasional happy moment. But I felt that it was all intended by the book, not directed at the book per se. Some of the book is a little cold, but I was very close to, and perhaps actually in, tears at one point. I cry fairly easily at books, I’ll admit, but it’s still a good sign.

Thought: 4/5. It doesn’t really manage to be as fascinating and nuanced as it could be, but nonetheless it’s an intelligent and thought-provoking book.

Beauty: 4/5. A little too… measured and marble for me to love it, but it’s distinctly above average aesthetically, both in prose and in imagery. In particular, I love Adams’ flair for remote analogies.

Craft: 3/5. Mostly… not noticeable. By that I mean that by and large I wasn’t thinking about craft as I read the book. I think that’s above average and deserves a 4. However, the big structural problem I mentioned above counts against it, and so does the most mishandled fall-in-love subplot I think I’ve ever read. However, the structural problems only became clear to me after some reflection, and the romance issue isn’t big or important enough to really spoil it. So 3.

Endearingness: 3/5. Well, it has a place in my affections. I’m sure I’ll recommend it to anybody who asks. I will reread it, I know. When I think of it, positive emotions occur. I like it, I can’t say why – and I mean like, not ‘think it good’, nor ‘enjoy reading it’, but actually like. But against that, overall… it’s just a bit too stony and unapproachable for me to say it’s above average here.

Originality: 4/5. There’s nothing here that’s stunningly wow-that’s-a-brilliant-idea original. However, I certainly couldn’t have written it, and there’s almost nothing that feels reused or over-familiar. Partly that’s because this book predates all those fantasy novels that have set the nature of cliché in the genre – which only makes it more admirably pioneering. This shows what fantasy ought to be: a genre filled with books that you’ll never find a twin of.

Overall: 6/7: Very Good.

Religion in Vajhoros, V. d.

Four Caravans School

The Four Caravans School recognises the four Caravans recognised in the Four Caravans Edict, but rejects the later Aquien Reforms, including their recognition of two further Caravans. At first, this was all the difference –  but centuries without a functioning church hierarchy have caused the religion to shift toward the populist domain of saints.

There are fifteen key articles that distinguish the faith from orthodoxy:

– Tulmnam have the power to take away the pain of tsaien and grant serenity after death.

– Tulmnam can take away any desire, because they can change the spirit as they choose.

– Only tulmnam can remove the repressed willings inherited from former lives.

– All incarnation is decided by deliberation among the tulmnam, and thus represents judgement on grounds of moral purity

– The Shonimô is constituted by all believers; priests are elected from their congregations

– The Shonimô has no purpose but guiding people toward the tulmnam

– In kneeling during abnegation, the both knees are knelt on, with the buttocks touching the feet. In prostration, the buttocks remain on the feet while the head is lowered to the ground. Both hands touch the ground palm down, and the nose must touch the ground. Abnegation must be carried out on soil. Cleansing must not occur until the devotee has returned. During abnegation, interior devotion is performed toward icons. By contrast, in Six Caravans the buttocks may not touch the feet during either kneeling or prostration – in prostration, the devotee lies bodily on the ground, but shields their face from the ground with one hand (palm-down), while the other is between the ground and the heart (palm up), and cleansing always occurs at the abnegation with water that has been offered in devotion to an icon – no interior devotion is to take place during the abnegation.

– In devotion to an icon, it is impermissible to burn any offering, and no offering may be eaten or drunk.

– The patron tulmăn is fixed at birth and may not be changed

– The tulmnam are to be emulated mentally and bodily, not only in general but in particulars, such as in occupation. As a result, the roster of approved tulmnam is far smaller, as many did not lead admirable lives. This emulation usually extends to marriage – a man marries a woman who either has the characteristics of his patron’s wife or who whose patron has those characteristics

– Membership of any other sect or cult is discouraged

– No obscenity (fornication, defecation, use of certain words, eating, killing) may occur before the unobstructed eyes of an icon. Pregnant and menstruating women may not be seen by icons.

– Religious matters may not be voluntarily discussed before anyone who is not known to be a member of the Four Caravans Shonimô. If forced to discuss religion, lying is encouraged

– No one may become a tulmăn without being a member of the Four Caravans Shonimô, with the exception of four ‘Founding Tulmnam‘, who acquired that status independently.

– All sexual contact outside marriage or not for the purposes of procreation is an abomination – controversially, homosexual activities are included in this prohibition.

Four Caravans was once persecuted as a threat to the state, but its remnants are now tolerated officially, if only through apathy – while its practice is a capital crime, prosecutions are rare and discouraged, and the case is difficult to prove. In the cities, their close-knit communities are often commercially successful, and together with their secrecy this can provoke paranoia. In rural areas, the distinction between Four and Six Caravans is not always clear – Sixers often incorporate, at least unofficially, many of the hagiophile beliefs of Fourers, while Fourers often hide their faith through a façade of orthodoxy. Nonetheless, Fourers found in Sixer communities may meet with extreme violence.

Due to the prohibitions on premarital homosexuality, and consequently (real or perceived) higher levels of premarital heterosexual sex, Four Caravans women are generally seen as depraved, deceitful and unclean, and dangerously exciting by the orthodox.

Religion in Vajhoros, V. c.

The Empire

The Empire is a not only a political organisation but a religious one, chiefly because politics itself is an expression of religion under Six Caravans. Through good governance, it enables people to fulfil their desires. Through the law, it reinforces morality.

Morality is important for three reasons: as a universal code, it erodes provukă; as a code that protects, it enables all to fulfil their desires; and as a code that obstructs and chastens, it teaches constancy and moderation. The law is not always moral, but it is as close an analogue to morality as can be achieved.

The Empire is also responsible for overseeing and protecting all the other Caravans to attenuating tsaien.

The Family

The family exists to protect and nurture children, and for the period of childhood an individual is entirely dependent on their parents not only for physical well-being but also for their spiritual advancement. The parents have a responsibility to impart morality, constancy, piety, and knowledge of the saints. In return, the love and devotion of a parent or grandparent for their child brings them closer to weakening provukă.


The monastery is organisationally part of the Shonimô, but its intent is different – where the Shonimô aims to improve the public, the monastery improves its own members. Here, through rigid internal laws and the exclusion of the chaotic external world, monks may more easily weaken their provukă and learn constancy. Monasteries are forbidden from holding slaves or allowing lay brethren, in order to weaken their political and economic power. They have, however, two degrees: the inner core of self-governing monks and a periphery of talnam, ‘disciples’, who are bound to serve the monks as a child obeys their parents, for a span of years, or even for an entire lifetime.

In general, only the wealthiest and most powerful families may enter a member into a monastery, although the institution also serves a punitive role: those facing stern legal penalties (particularly execution) may escape them by entering a monastery.

To symbolise monasticism, the monks are usually branded on their face, and may have their noses removed. Leaving a monastery carries the death sentence. It is only available for men.


The talking group was recognised as a Caravan in part to appease anti-church elements hostile to monasteries, and in part to recognise changes both in society and in the church. At the same time as the church was building larger and larger cathedrals, focusing on mass abnegation, so too the literate and independent class was growing in size and importance. Such people no longer wished to be entirely led by the church, and the church no longer had the resources to do so, and thus some parts of the responsibility of the church were given to the people themselves.

The talking group is a group of devotees who gather to discuss themselves. Through confession to the group, people are brought to morality through shame, and to a greater understanding of their own repressed desires. Through discussion, dilemmas in life can be resolved, and desires fulfilled or dissolved. The dissolution of desires (which may be performed by clergy as well as talking groups) involves determining the underlying nature of a desire, behind the specifics, and is used when a desire cannot practically, or morally, be accomplished. For instance, a woman may show distress as a result of a repressed desire from a past life that her children prosper. This desire cannot be met – those children are long since dead – but it can be dissolved: once the desire is recognised, it can be replaced (if provukă is sufficiently weakened) by the analogous desire that her own current (or future) children prosper, as the desire that descendents prosper is the core of the specific desire. Meanwhile, by hearing the intimate stories of others confidentially, an individual can awake to greater empathy.

The talking group is not entirely independent from the Shonimô – by law, each group must have present at least one trained ‘advisor’ clergyman, and they are usually created by, and hosted by, a local shuni. Commonly, membership is determined by patron saint; in this way a single talking group can involve people of many social backgrounds.

Other Caravans

Six Caravans, despite its name, does not claim that there are only six caravans for the kingdom of attenuation – rather, it insists on the legitimacy and importance of those six, which act as models for other relationships. In general, any disciplining, educative or non-self-focused relationship or institution may be seen as beneficial, even if not of equal status with the acknowledged Caravans.