*looks at last post, coughs*

My university offers JSTOR access to alumni! FUCK YEAH!


*looks at clock*

So, depths of tearful never-speak-to-anybody-ever-again might-have-thought-about-minor-self-harm-if-it-didn’t-feel-so-narcissistic-and-attention-seeking, to being really kind of jolly, in… slightly under 50 minutes. The glass of mead helped.

Hooray for having the emotional stability of a cobweb trampoline in tornado weather!

[Don’t worry, I’m not bipolar. If I did this on a regular basis I’d get worried, but instead it’s just that I when I get upset by some external trigger (and there are only a couple of them), I can get very upset indeed, but then bounce back weirdly quickly.]


So, back to the singing…

They’re warning us! They’re warning us!
One gas mask between the four of us!

Thanks be to God that three of us can run,
So one of us can use it all alone.

7 thoughts on “

  1. booksyfolk says:

    Yesterday I couldn’t find glue. I ransacked the house and no glue to be found. Finally, I found glue but I wasn’t any happier. I sat quietly for na hour, meaningless copying hiragana for fucks. At least women can blame it on the hormones.

  2. Hans says:

    Good you feel better. Outside of close family, I never know what to say or to do when I see people feel down.

  3. paulinemross says:

    Glad you’re feeling better again (yay for mead!). And yes, people DO read your blog (through a feed reader, in my case, so I’m an invisible stalker…).

  4. booksyfolk says:

    Alright, looking back I feel I was a bit insensitive. You were having a not so easy moment and I spoke mostly of myself and my inane search for glue. I guess I was still feeling shockwaves for the mess that day was.

    I’m glad you are feeling better (which I hope you are). Personally, it’s hard to leave that disposition, and if the stay in the depths lasts only 50 minutes, it might still be a hard climb from then on. I don’t know. I don’t really know you – except from some short exchange over at GR -, which makes it hard to gage the dents a bout of depression can cause. Again, I’m glad you are feeling better. Comfort from strangers, though.

  5. Kazi Siddiqui says:

    Hope you’re okay.

  6. Err… well, thank you people. It is, in some ways, heart-warming to think that people actually notice when I say things. In other ways, of course, it’s deeply embarrassing.

    Despite the period of elation in which I wrote this post, I was actually bouncing back and forth between happiness and (progressively less bad) melancholy for a few days there… though to be honest I think the fact I happened to come down with some sort of mild flu thing at exactly that time didn’t help much. There’s no worse time to be trying to NOT feel sorry for yourself than when your bones are aching and the inside of your throat is lined with hedgehog spines. But anyway, low mood and infection both mostly gone now.

    booksy: don’t worry about insensitivity. I don’t think the inanity of the cause of someone’s feelings disqualifies the feelings themselves, and I’m also not someone who feels they’re having the stage stolen from them when other people have issues. I took your post as a comment in a spirit of fellow-feeling, and appreciated it.

    Fortunately, I wasn’t joking in the preceding post when I said that I had a good ability to emotionally forget about things. I have to really concentrate on being unhappy. Which, sometimes, I do – it feels like I do it intentionally, but then I guess on some level an addict does things intentionally, so that doesn’t mean much. Anyway, it’s not a serious problem for me, because on the one hand it’s almost always external things that set it off, so it doesn’t happen often, and on the other hand it’s self-limiting, because I’m not good at concentrating on ANYTHING…

    [Hans: yeah, I never know what to say either. In real life, I generally go with ‘act normally’, with some bad jokes – this tends to irritate upset people in the short term, but it also sort of prods them into engaging normally with me, which can distract them from feeling down. I don’t imagine it works that well with serious depression, but it works surprisingly well with general melancholy. Obviously, you have to not push it TOO far…]

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